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Movie Thoughts Archive

by Margaret T. Minnick


Well, this looks crappy...
The previews before Starsky and Hutch yesterday were a parade of crappy-looking movies. Alarmingly, the only one that looked even remotely funny was Soul Plane. But what really pushed me over the edge was the preview for The Ladykillers, directed by the Coen brothers and starring Tom Hanks. Admittedly, I completely hate Tom Hanks. But even without him playing some kind of modern-day Colonel Sanders, this movie looks seriously BAAAADDDD. What's happened to the Coen brothers? They used to make cool movies. Now they seem to have become lost in a morass of stereotyping Southerners (as in the much-loathed-by-me O Brother, Where Art Thou?) and making fun of black people (as the preview for this new movie indicates). I'm sure people will love it, buy the soundtrack, laud Tom Hanks' amazing acting, and so forth. But to me it looks like total CRAP. [movie thoughts archive]

Thoughts on About A Boy and Lord of the Rings #1 can be found on this blog archive page.


Wherefore Scooby?
I'm just going to stick my neck out and say that I think Scooby Doo is going to be a big flop. As in flopsy-mopsy. As in flopasaurus rex. I'll tell you why: It just has too many creepy things about it. It's that simple. Let me go over them for you: (1) Freddy Prinze Jr. with blond hair. (2) Buffy as "sexy" Daphne (who is inexplicably the only character that is not dressed in exactly the same outfit as in the cartoon ... strange, could it be that they wanted to show more skin? Naaahh ...). (3) Creepy digitally animated dog that just doesn't look quite right. It's worse than Roger Rabbit! And besides, nobody liked that cartoon anyway, did they?


Interchangeable actors
Maybe I'm just showing my age, but isn't there something completely interchangeable about Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhaal and Wes Bentley? They seem to be occupying the same niche, and I don't think there's room for so many of them in Hollywood. They're all the kind of quiet but intriguing types ... not quite cute but the kind of guys that girls can convince themselves are actually really cute. Admittedly, Tobey Maguire has a leg up on the other two since he is now more famous than either of them. Jake Gyllenhaal is kind of the poor man's Maguire (not as cute and more dopey-looking) and is probably destined for a future of taking the roles that Maguire rejects. Wes Bentley, on the other hand, is more inherently creepy than Maguire and may succeed if he pursues that angle. There are many more groups of interchangeable actors out there ... I will be exploring the phenomenon further.


Well, Kevin Spacey certainly seems to be trying to elbow in on Tom Hanks' status as the most self-important, sanctimonious actor around. Since his success in American Beauty, he seems to think he has some very important lessons to teach all of us. We don't even need to discuss Pay It Forward, do we? But now, out of nowhere comes this ridiculous K-PAX about an alien (or is he?) in a mental hospital on Earth. He makes all the mental patients feel better (oh, goody!) and probably has some very important messages for us earthlings.

As David Bowie said, "there's a Starman, waiting in the sky/he'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our mind" -- wow, isn't Kevin Spacey neat-o? Big puke.


This week I am pondering Leelee Sobieski, the young actress of excessively long brown hair and excessive seriousness. She has 3 new movies open right now -- two schlockfests, Joy Ride and Glass House, and a more arty offering, My First Mister, which may or may not feature a disturbing relationship between a old man and a young girl. I don't care what the movie's about -- what thrills me is seeing Sobieski all dressed up as a little goth girl. I really think she's hit on something. It's nice to see her shed her high school drama club look. She should consider trading in her current Melissa Gilbert style for a permanent goth look. It gives her some thrill-factor, which she has been sorely lacking up to this point despite her completely ridiculous first name.

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