Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Hey! Chris invited me to blog here, so I thought I'd try it out with a review of a movie I just saw, keeping with the style heretofore ahem ahem...

Seconds” – See Rock Hudson tied down to a gurney by two football players! See actual footage of plastic surgery! See actual footage of Rock Hudson actually drunk!

There are movie conventions we accept from any film, and the fact that this movie depends on one or two hides how unconventional it actually is. They even tried to make Hudson look as awful as possible for one scene! More movies should be like this. But anyone will balk at Hudson’s willfully ignoring movie convention 42: if a stranger’s corpse can get you out of trouble, maybe you’d better figure out where that corpse came from in the first place.

I’m a fan of Frankenheimer, so I was willing to forgive this and other flaws. Its slow pace kills the suspense. And it’s not like there couldn’t have been more suspense – the subplot with Wilson’s creepy friend could have been given more play. And the plot has enough twists that it seems like a long episode of Twilight Zone, so it’s a shame these twists seem so minor and uneventful. I could not forgive the naked drunken hippies, however.

Despite these problems, it’s gorgeous and interesting. But on neither account does it approach Frankenheimer’s masterpiece “The Manchurian Candidate”.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Help us trim our Netflix list!
OK, so our Netflix list is way too long; it's stressing me out. Here's the list. If you see anything not worth watching on here, pleae do us a favor and let us know! :)

Thanks.

THE LIST:
The Matrix: Revolutions
Army of Darkness 
Venus Beauty Institute
Catch Me If You Can
Pieces of April
Something's Gotta Give
The City of Lost Children
Master and Commander
Big Fish
Drumline
Tumbleweeds
Brotherhood of the Wolf
Advertising Rules!
The Thin Red Line
Picnic at Hanging Rock
The Professional
Dog Day Afternoon
Jackie Chan's Who Am I
Scarface
Heaven
Invaders from Mars
Gods and Monsters
The Last Wave
Six Feet Under: Season 1: Disc 1
Auto Focus
Silent Running
Chaplin: The Movie
The Claim
The Contender
Magnolia
Save the Last Dance
American History X
Star Trek: The Motion Picture 
Irma La Douce
Requiem for a Dream
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock 
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country 
Nashville
Thirteen Days
East Is East 
Chinatown  
The Lady Eve
Baby Boy
Mars Needs Women
Dazed and Confused
Boogie Nights
The Intruder
Real Women Have Curves
Following 
Angels and Insects
No Man's Land
The Collector
24 Hour Party People
The Atomic Cafe
Surf Nazis Must Die
Swingers
La Femme Nikita
Get Over It
Mulholland Drive 
Conspiracy
Conspiracy Theory
Conspiracy: The Trial of the Chicago 8
Breakfast of Champions
Thunderbirds: Vol. 1
The First Year
Norma Rae
For All Mankind
In the Bedroom
Storytelling 
Dark Blue World 
Mo' Better Blues  
Bamboozled
Crooklyn
Billy Elliot
Something Wild
Iris
Vegas in Space
Suburbia
The Limey
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Movie
Them!
Orphans
Aberdeen
Rebecca
The Cat's Meow
Steal This Movie!
Pollock
Gandhi
Pride and Prejudice: Vol. 1
Pride and Prejudice: Vol. 2
McCabe & Mrs. Miller
Elling
L.A. Confidential
Holy Smoke
Never Been Kissed
Ocean's Eleven
The Ice Storm
Cherish
Brotherhood of Satan
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
Hell Comes to Frogtown
South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut 
Sunshine State
Ocean's Eleven
All About Eve  
On the Waterfront  
Croupier
Island of Dr. Moreau: Director's Cut
The Warriors
The Running Man
Sophie's Choice 
Five Easy Pieces
Little Women
Mansfield Park
The Other Sister
Buffalo '66
Ratcatcher
The Lady and the Duke
Star Trek: TNG: Season 1: Disc 1
Legend of 1900
Lumiere and Company
Shooting Fish
Girl, Interrupted
Stepmom
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Bird
Three Days of the Condor
New York: Episode 1
Ken Burns' Civil War: Disc 1
What to Do in Case of Fire
Baseball: Disc 1
The Candidate
An Ideal Husband
The Heartbreak Kid
Road to Perdition
The Bourne Identity
Butterfield 8
Six Feet Under: Season 1: Disc 2
Six Feet Under: Season 1: Disc 3
The World of Henry Orient
White Oleander
Six Feet Under: Season 1: Disc 4
The Pallbearer
Someone Like You
She's All That
Femme Fatale
Jackie Brown
Groundhog Day
Funny Face
To Sir, with Love
A Patch of Blue
Aguirre: The Wrath of God
Fitzcarraldo
Full Metal Jacket
Anna and the King
All the President's Men
Rashomon
Vanilla Sky
Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense
90 Degrees South
Last Night
Chariots of the Gods
Insomnia
Fun with Dick and Jane
Bull Durham
Tin Cup
The Crime of Padre Amaro
Intacto
Tuck Everlasting
The Ring
The Lion in Winter
The Ruling Class
Arsenic and Old Lace
An Affair to Remember
Now, Voyager
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Rosemary's Baby
uess Who's Coming to Dinner
Solaris
The Kid Stays in the Picture
Timecop
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Time Bandits
About Schmidt
Home Movie
Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex…
Zelig
Alice
Bullets Over Broadway
Quiz Show
Mystery Men 
Giant
Send Me No Flowers
The Odd Couple
Born Yesterday
The Forsyte Saga: Disc 1
Roots: Disc 1
Roots: Disc 2
Roots: Disc 3
They Live
Chicago
Bonus Material: Scarface
Finding Nemo
Montenegro
The Coca-Cola Kid
Ashes and Diamonds
Kanal
That Touch of Mink  
Charade
Cleo from 5 to 7
Juliet of the Spirits
Black Orpheus
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Diner 
Solaris
The Long Good Friday
I, Claudius: Disc 1
I, Claudius: Disc 2
I, Claudius: Disc 3
I, Claudius: Disc 4
I, Claudius: Disc 5/The Epic
Chocolat
Sweet Sixteen
The Pianist
Bjork: Volumen
Nowhere in Africa
Nicholas Nickleby
Old School
Hannah and Her Sisters  
Husbands and Wives 
Love and Death
Manhattan 
The Purple Rose of Cairo
Radio Days
Play it Again, Sam
Pirates of the Caribbean
Firefly: Disc 1
Firefly: Disc 2
Firefly: Disc 3
Firefly: Disc 4
The French Lieutenant's Woman
Buffalo Soldiers
Revenge of the Nerds Double Feature
Soylent Green
Weird Science
Spellbound
Thirteen
American Splendor
Runaway Jury
Matchstick Men
Mona Lisa Smile
Tom Jones
St. Elmo's Fire
About Last Night...
The Pick-up Artist
1984
Happenstance
Shattered Glass
Splash: 20th Anniversary Edition
My Life Without Me
Camp
Love Actually
The Cooler
The Triplets of Belleville
Y Tu Mama Tambien
Rabbit-Proof Fence
A Passage to India  
Kind Hearts and Coronets
Doctor Zhivago 
The Bridge on the River Kwai 
The Great Escape
Anywhere But Here
Italian for Beginners
Girl with a Pearl Earring
The Magdalene Sisters
Dirty Pretty Things
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 1: Vol. 1
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 1: Vol. 2
American Pimp
Cold Mountain
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 2
Mystic River
The Station Agent
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Good Bye, Lenin
Intermission
Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself
Mean Girls

Sunday, May 16, 2004

The Rare Breed (1966), starring Jimmy Stewart is just about the worst western I've ever seen -- yes, it was worse than Wild Wild West.

Jimmy plays a cowpoke named Sam Burnett (ya, real original cowpoke name there) who makes the aquaintence of this lady and her daughter from England who brought over an English bull because they wanted to breed it with some longhorns. The lady's husband died on the way over. So, of course, the movie is sort of about the bull and sort of about how the lady and Jimmy eventually get together. So far so good.

But, they also threw in this drunken Scottish guy, played by Brian Keith, who wore a wig and fake beard and talked with a fake accent. He's the guy that the bull was sold to, and he wants to get it on with the English lady too. One would think that a fake Scottish rancher would make a western good (maybe that's what the writer, Ric Hardman, and the director, Andrew V. McLaglen, were thinking). But, no. Fake Scottish guy or not, this movie sucks!

So, I looked up this Andrew V. McLaglen on IMDB, and wouldn't you know it: he's English, and he also directed Wild Wild West. I'm just kidding about the Wild Wild West part, but he is English, and he did direct a bunch of other westerns and some TV movies. He was also 6 feet 7 inches tall!!

Monday, May 10, 2004

I almost liked Down With Love (2003), but then I didn't. My main problem is that Renee Zellweger has turned ugly and no one is admitting it. Her face looks like a newborn mole — all puffy and eyes squished closed — except not as cute. When her editor, played by Sarah Paulson, meets her, she croons, "You're gorgeous!" That just made me laugh because she looks like a total mess. Paulson, who is supposed to be the dowdy brunette sidekick, is 10 times prettier than Renee. It's hilarious.

Renee's co-star Ewan McGregor doesn't really do it for me either. His head is just too darn big and he has too many moles on it. And his gleaming white teeth are too big too.

Now, for a romance to work for me, the leads don't necessarily have to be attractive. But so much of this movie is about them being GORGEOUS that when they're not, it all just kind of falls flat.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Hey! Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln were born on the same day: February 12, 1809. Interesting, sort of!

Saturday, May 01, 2004

You may have already seen this fabulous web page, but if you haven't you must! Check it out, and keep scrolling: Jay Maynard's TRON costume.

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