|
It has come to my attention that a vast number of people seem
to be baffled by technology - in particular, the most devilish
technology of them all, the VCR clock. The problem seems to be
reaching epidemic proportions lately, as more and more people
are complaining that their inability to master this technology
is impeding their ability to learn anything at all, or that the
fact that their VCR clock flashes 12:00 is somehow symbolic of
a deep technophobia. I have become quite concerned for the psychological
health of my country recently, and in a wonderfully charitable
act, I've decided to provide my fellow citizens with the knowledge
that is necessary to become competent, perhaps even proficient,
with the VCR clock.
A small book is included with every VCR unit. Do not throw this
book away. This book contains valuable information which will
aid you greatly in your pursuance of VCR skills. (I am assuming
here that you have mastered the technological intricacies of reading
and turning pages...not to mention the complexities of using an
index or table of contents. If you are semi-fluent in one language,
you are, indeed, very close to setting that VCR clock.)
Unfortunately, most of the people who would be aided by this article
already own a VCR, and this VCR has a clock of the digital variety,
and the book of secrets that came with this VCR was likely discarded
long ago. Fear not, lost souls, the situation is not hopeless.
Although there are several different varieties of VCR clocks,
all of them share a number of important features. By understanding
these universal VCR clock features, a person of average intelligence
should be able to figure out the specific workings of their own
VCR.
In this country, we use a 12 hour clock. This means that each
day (the 24 hour period that it takes for the earth to turn around
once on its axis) is divided into two 12 hour halves: the AM half
and the PM half. Most VCR clocks are designed to indicate whether
it is now AM or PM. For example: when a clock reads only 12:00,
it may either indicate noon or midnight, but if a clock displays
an AM next to the 12:00, you can be certain that the clock is
indicating that it is midnight. (of course, this may not agree
with any other clock in your home, because you have not yet discovered
how to change the numbers on your VCR clock.)
The first number in the time (before the colon) on a digital clock
indicates the hour, as I alluded to earlier. If your VCR clock
uses the standard system of time used in this country, this will
always be a number between one and 12. The number after the colons
indicates minutes. There are 60 of these units in each hour. The
numbers on the minute side of the colon (the right side) increment
by one starting with double zero (00) until they reach 59. Fifty-nine
is always followed by double zero on a digital clock.
One of the most confusing and difficult to understand things about
many older VCR clocks is that when the clock is being set, the
minute side and the hour side of the colon are treated as separate
and unrelated numbers. The most obvious mental hurdle this creates
for the average person is that no matter how many times you increment
the minutes during the setting process, the hour will not change.
VCR clocks are made this way in order to save the user the frustration
of ever having to press a button (or combination of buttons) 720
times to get from midnight to noon. This problem has been eliminated
in many of the newer VCRs which allow the user to simply use the
numbers on the remote control to set the clock. Once you understand
these few rules about time and digital clocks, the problem of
setting your VCR clock becomes only a mechanical one. I imagine
that the VCR clocks that give most people trouble are not the
newer, remote control variety. Therefore, in the interest of brevity,
I will only explain the setting process for what is perhaps the
most difficult to understand type of VCR clock. Most VCR clocks
are sufficiently similar to this type to not warrant a full description
of all of the possible variations.
Older VCRs will have a button, sometimes hidden under a panel
below the digital display, which will be labeled "set" or "clock"
or "clock set". When this button is pressed, one of the three
or four elements of the time (some clocks allow the user to set
the day of the week) will begin to flash. When a number, or day
of the week or two letter combination indicating AM or PM is flashing,
the user may increment or change its value by pressing a different
button (usually one of two arrows, one indicating forward and
one indicating backward adjustment). The usual strategy is to
change the value of each element of the time to match another
clock which you know to be approximately accurate (i.e. your watch).
When you have successfully adjusted the first element of the time,
you may move on to the second by pressing the button marked "clock"
or "set" or "clock set". Repeat this process until all of the
elements in the time adequately reflect the actual time. If anything
is still flashing or if the VCR is not automatically advancing
the time, press the "clock" button again to exit the setting mode.
Congratulations, you have set your VCR clock.
I hope that in writing this article I have eliminated many people's
fears about technology, and that, free from the single most difficult
problem of modern life you will no longer mistakenly believe that
mastery of technology and computers is impossible. It was not
long ago that the majority of people in the world were afraid
of toilets. Perhaps it just took a simple written explanation
of the process of flushing to calm everyone's fears about this
once bold and magical technology. The benefits of learning to
use the toilet, as we now know, were enormous. No longer did human
excrement litter the streets, and it wasn't very long before cholera
was virtually eliminated along with many of the other problems
that were created by the rise of large cities during the 19th
century. Perhaps now, we can move into a new era in which, not
only will VCR clocks accurately reflect the actual time, but just
maybe the human race will unite in the purpose of expanding our
knowledge and understanding of the universe. We could be on the
verge of a great new age in which fear of the unknown will be
replaced with eagerness to explore and expand our capabilities.
|
"More and more people are complaining that their inability to
master this technology is impeding their ability to learn anything
at all."
Return to Articles |
